As a mommy of 3 kiddos, 5 years old and under, it is easy to often fall into the busyness of my mom-life.
Wake up, get dressed, make breakfasts, feed the baby, change diaper, dress the minions, clean up, break up an argument about who knows what, attempt to do something productive like laundry while refereeing playtime, make lunch, feed all three, clean up the mess, remind everyone to go potty, change diaper, put baby down for a nap, put Haven down for a rest, attempt school time with Jonah, squeeze in some adult work like budgeting or phone calls, the girls wake up, snack time (because we are never done eating around here), change diaper, start planning dinner, attempt an activity like a craft or outside playtime, begin to clean up the disasters that have happened along the way, cook, dinner, baths, brush teeth, potty, diaper change, brush and braid Haven’s Rapunzel locks, story time, prayer, water, oils, kisses hugs and good nights.
That is roughly a typical day at home. Of course, depending on the day, there might be taking Aunt Lory to work, grocery shopping, and other various outings.
It’s a great life, but it is a busy one, and is filled with so many to-do lists and check lists that sometimes the quality wavers. I love my kids more than life but there are times, I will admit, that I almost see them as a project, instead of little people. The rush of trying to teach them how to use a spoon or react nicely to strangers or use table manners, can overwhelm me into rushing and demanding, instead of listening and training.
My wake up call came when my son, out of the blue, asked me if we could do something, just the two of us. Usually, these requests for one-on-one time are aimed at Michael because he loves their “man-trips” to the “man-stores” like Autozone or Lowes. So I told Jonah that he would have to ask daddy if he could take mommy out on a date. Daddy said yes, so we made plans to go out on Thursday when daddy got home from work and could stay with the girls.
I started by allowing Jonah to make all the decisions. Where did he want to go eat? Chick-Fil-A. Where should we go after dinner? The zoo! (I had to veto that one because we don’t have zoo passes and it would be too late to go that far anyways) Second choice? The book store. A man after my own heart.
At dinner, Jonah wanted to do everything the same as me, which was adorable and very uncharacteristic for him. We settled on matching nugget and fry meals (I know, I know…fries = bad) and both Chick-fil-a and ranch dips. The funniest part of the meal was the epic discovery that fries are made from potatoes! You know how sometimes you get a waffle fry from the end of the potato so that it still has a rounded side with skin on it? I usually intercept those for Michael because they are his favorite, so I guess Jonah had never noticed them before. He pulled one out of his bag, looked at it puzzled, then held it up for me to see and exclaimed, “Mommy, look! this one has a potato on this side and a fry on this side!”
At the book store, we searched for either a dinosaur or dragon book. The only dragon ones we could find were either silly stories or way over his head and a bit pricy. Dinosaurs won the day and he chose a simple reader that he could use to practice some basic skills. He is such a funny little man, he doesn’t really go for fiction books like most 5 year olds, he prefers “learning books” that have facts about animals, preferably dinosaurs. He soaks up every word and picture on each page.
I guess I’m more influenced by Hallmark than I thought because I found myself trying to set up conversations in hopes of a special moment of some sort with Jonah. In the end, I don’t have any earth shattering or tear jerking things to report. But you know what? It wasn’t about me and some kind of grand moment that I could frame in a scrapbook. It was about Jonah feeling individually heard, appreciated, and loved. It was about me stopping to acknowledge him and be reminded that he is a person, not a project. He is a fantastic, unique, smart, loving little person who I am honored to call my own.
Next up: a girl’s night out with my Haven.
