I’ve given it some thought and I believe I know why God designed kids to be so unintentionally humorous. It’s because, in order to survive the insanity that is motherhood, we need the occasional burst of laughter. My case in point:
It had been a rough day. Wednesdays are usually the longest day of the week. The previous weekend feels like it was a month ago and the next one feels as far off as Christmas to a five year old. After a long day, a painful dentist appointment, rushing to get out the door, home late…I was just ready for some Motrin and a hot bath. So we tucked the kids in, Michael left to make a quick run to the store, I lit my favorite lavender candle and got in the water. I think I had been relaxed for about three full minutes when motherhood noticed me relaxing, shook her head, and laughed at me.
“Mommy!!! I have to go poopoo!!!”
Yes. My dearest middle child, who had been to the bathroom less than 15 minutes earlier, now had to poop.
Of course, my first instinct was to wait for Michael to get her, but he was at the store. For a brief moment, I actually considered ignoring the call for help and dealing with whatever the consequences were later. But I am a good mom and good moms don’t do that. Also, Michael was coming home eventually and would probably disapprove of my choice.
So up I went to rescue little miss perfect-timing from her time of distress. As we waited for the inevitable to happen, she looked down from the potty, then back up at me and said “Mommy, why are there bubbles on your feet?” Oh my dear Haven, one day if you have children of your own, you will understand why mommy was wearing her grumpy face, dripping wet, and had bubbles on her feet tonight.
Without further ado, here are a few of the latest and greatest moments in our house.
Haven – Feb 8th, age 3
*Daddy and Haven searching or her favorite shoes*
Michael: “Haven, where was the last place you saw the shoes?”
*looks at daddy like he’s crazy*
Haven: “Um, on my feet.”
Jonah – Feb 14th, age 5
*9:45pm, Michael and I are watching a movie when I hear something from the back rooms*
Me: I think I hear crying, can you check?”
*pauses movie and listens closely*
Me: “Correction, I hear howling, can you go check?” haha!
*Michael goes back for a minute and then comes back laughing*
Michael: “I asked him why he was howling and he said ‘Well, I wasn’t going to call your name eighteen times!’ ”
Jonah – Feb 27th, age 5
Me: “Jonah, let Haven go first like a gentleman.”
Jonah: “I’m not a gentleman!”
Michael: “Yes sir, you are.”
Jonah: “No I’m not. Gentlemen say, “let’s have a spot of tea” and I don’t say that!”
