There seems to be two kinds of conservatives on social media, generally speaking. The first is the super loud, post sharing, comment spamming, must-say-something-about-everything type. The second is the silent, non-confrontational, type who is either too afraid to tangle with opposition or too convinced that it is pointless to try. That being said, I very much dislike generalizing and categorizing people, so yes, there are many exceptions to both groups. It just seems like we conservatives do tend to fall into one of those two majorities.
I see the value in both to a certain extent. If we, the silent majority, remain silent, how are we of any use to affect change? However, there comes a point where the outspoken group loses their impact because they appear to just be looking for a good fight to win.
How do you balance it? When do you speak up and what should you say? How do you conduct yourself in a way that will be firm yet full of grace? Is it even possible?
I’m struggling with those questions right now.
Thus far, I have attempted to hold my peace whenever possible and only speak up when I feel that injustice is being made against a strong conviction. It seems to be a good stance to take, but whenever the passion inside me ignites and I find myself compelled to engage, I end up feeling like a mouse taking on a mountain lion. I may be able to squeak it out loud enough to be heard, but I always end up eaten.
If I have an opinion, I am judgmental.
If I have a conviction, I am intolerant.
If I disagree, I am oppositional.
If I am passionate, I am too emotional.
If I state my thought gently, I am weak.
If I state my thought strongly, I am inflammatory.
If I choose a different stance from yours, I am hateful.
If I refuse your judgement of me, I am not “owning it”.
So here is my question: where is my freedom?
The heart of the very name “Liberal” is liberty. You are founded on the notion that we should all be allowed to have the freedom of our own choices and voices. “Freedom of speach!” you cry, while you whisper “But only if you are on our side, otherwise we will destroy you.” I am not allowed to have an opposing view, unless you allow it for a show of your infamous “tolerance”, but I better not get personal or the retribution will be swift and merciless. Everything I say is twisted and melted down until it can be used against me. Clarification is futile. You have already made up your mind about what I “really meant” and therefore have no need or desire for explanation.
I have been asked why I bother with the rare times that I do engage. The truth is, I don’t know.
I am not so ignorant that I think the voice of opinion from one small person could affect change. The stances I go up against and the people who I find myself toe to toe with are not going to be swayed. Why bother? Why allow myself to be attacked and misrepresented? It’s not fun, I do not enjoy the accusations, the argumentative spirit, the degrading and offensive language, or the personal hurt that accompanies standing up for my convictions.
I do because I simply can not stand silent.
Every fiber in my entirety screams at me from inside of my heart, mind, and soul, and compels me to speak. I try to silence it with reason and remembrance of the last battle but it will not be quenched. Once certain lines have been crossed, there is no reining in the passion that burns in my very bones.
I deliver my thoughts and opinions with as much grace and love as I can, but of course that is dismissed. It is too unbelievable that someone could have an opposing view and not be a jerk. Maybe I am a unicorn.
It hurts. It has cost me dearly. It continues to invite wounds. But it is engrained in me too deeply to be cut out. I will not lose who I am because it would be easier.
