A moment of honesty

Let’s be honest, some days, motherhood is not Facebook perfect.

Actually, that’s not an honest statement; most days are not Facebook perfect.

There are days when I’m excited to post pictures and updates about taking the kids to new places or doing fun activities. The hair is done right, the shoes are on their feet and match, they are in good moods, no one is bleeding…it’s a glorious feeling of accomplishment. However, if those days are all that is ever shared, it’s not only a lie by omission, it also discourages other moms.

So in the interested of honesty and encouraging and empowering other moms, here is the truth of my day today.

This morning I was hoping to wake up early and get some things done in the quiet before the minions awoke, but Jonah beat me to it. He was up and in my room asking for food and activities before my brain was anywhere close to awake. Now, I can’t blame him, because I failed to set an alarm last night, but still, starting your day before you’re prepared to is less than pleasant after a late night. I grumped at him to go get dressed and I mustered the energy to get up. About this time, I heard Haven crying. This is not a good sign. Haven is usually my cheerful one, so when she cries, it’s usually genuine distress.

I found her laying on the floor crying that her tummy hurt.

Instant. Panic.

I deal well with blood. I deal well with sleepless nights. I deal well with meltdowns. I deal well with most of the drama that small children drum up. But I do not do well with vomit. The thought of it makes my skin crawl and my heart race. It will (and has) sent me into the throws of panic attacks on many occasions. I have generalized anxiety issues anyways, but tummy issues? forget it, I will melt down faster than a two year old at midnight.

Not wanting to pass this lovely trait on to my children, I fake the smile and steady my voice while I ask her various questions and help her over to the couch to lie down. She never did get sick and she perked up by mid morning and seems fine. It was probably just gas or being overly hungry for breakfast. But still, this was not the greatest start to the day and left me on edge and less prepared to deal with the teething 19 month old.

Poor Laelynn is miserable and prefers to be glued to my hip with a blankie and pacifier at all times today. She has zero interest in anything but mommy. It sounds like a precious thing, to be wanted and loved so much. But when you are working on math with the oldest, still keeping an eagle eye on the middle one, and attempting to function around the house, it is just frustrating to be shadowed and held hostage by a crying toddler.

At any rate, we made it through the first half of the day and my current status is improving. The kids are each having some quiet time or a nap and I am stealing time that should be spent cleaning to write a little bit. I’m still in my PJs, my floors still need to be cleaned, the 4 month old project in the corner of my livingroom is still waiting to be completed, and the list goes on and on…but right now we are doing ok. We are not doing Facebook perfect, but we are doing ok, and that’s ok with me.

#momlife