This morning I was working on the computer when I looked up to see my baby girl walking down the hallway. She had been taking a few step here and there but never more than 3-4 and it’s pretty rare. She is a little old for crawling at 16 months but it’s not uncommon to be a late walker among my littles. I wasn’t worried because I knew she could if she ever decided that she wanted to, she was just happy to zoom around on her knees instead.
Anyways though, the day we have been watching for happened today; Laelynn just got up without any reason or coaching and chose adorably wobbly steps over her hands and knees.
She was so proud of herself and I couldn’t help but smile back at her as she giggled, sporting her two perfect little dimples and sparkly eyes. My heart was a little sad though, sad to see a part of her babyhood slip away and be overthrown by the dawning toddler phase. I can’t wait to watch her grow stronger and more independent and develop her individuality but there’s a part of your mommy-heart that breaks a little when your baby isn’t so babyish anymore.
You get pregnant and spend 40 very long weeks enduring everything from food aversions to cravings, from sleeplessness to nesting, weight gain, fear, excitement…it’s a powerful and challenging and uniquely wonderful time. Then the baby comes and all of the pregnancy fades away as you fall hopelessly in love with this tiny, wrinkly, squishy little creature who is utterly dependent on you. It’s not all hallmark and roses. There are many nights without sleep and days without rest and everything in your life changes but it is all worth it for that fresh baby smell and sloppy grin.
That is why I wear her.
I tried to wear Jonah, my first, but couldn’t get the hang of it and didn’t have any people to talk to and get advice so I eventually gave up. I wish I hadn’t. He ended up with a pretty severe case of positional plagiocephaly that would have probably been avoided if I had worn him instead of always having him in the carseat or stroller but you live and learn and thankfully, he grew out of it.
With my second, Haven, I didn’t begin wearing her consistently until she was an older baby after I found a babywearing group on FaceBook. We quickly fell in love with the practicality of it and the sweetness of the cuddles. My hands were free to help Jonah but she was securely on my back in the Boba which made us both feel happy and snuggly.
When I found out I was pregnant with Laelynn, I knew that I would wear her from day one.
I needed my hands to take care of Jonah and Haven and I wanted to enjoy every second of snuggling my new squish for as long as possible. So I turned again to Tampa Bay Babywearing on Facebook (seriously, a fantastic group of mommies!) and learned as much as I could about wearing newborns. The wraps were gorgeous but I knew I would get frustrated with the process of wrapping so we chose a ring sling. Michael surprised me with the one I had hoped for at the hospital after her birth and she was up and in it on my chest by the time she was 4 days old.
She loved being worn and I loved wearing her. I think it allowed us to bond in spite of the craziness of the other two minions and it also prevented a lot of jealousy for them because mommy could have the baby and still play outside or go to the playground.
We got a little bit of side-eye over it sometimes. It is crazy, the way people feel at liberty to judge the way people choose to parent their kids. Oh boy, could I go on and on about that! But, staying on point, we did receive a surprising amount of unwanted feedback from strangers at times. There were lots of comments about “that’s the easy way out, isn’t it?” or “she’s never going to walk if you dont put her down”, “you’re spoiling her”, “isn’t that really bad for her?” or even “that’s so mean that she’s so confined in that thing”.
Seriously?
To all the haters: mind your own business and, if you are that concerned, educate yourself.
Babywearing has been practiced since the beginning of time, long before strollers. Easy? Well, it’s not hard and it’s not uncomfortable but I wouldn’t call trudging around in the Florida heat with a 15lb heater strapped to me “easy”. And to the “she’s never going to walk” person(s), she is actually reaping the benefit of a stronger core and better sense of balance because she is not on her back in a reclined position all the time. My son, who was not worn, didn’t walk until he was 21months old in spite of our best efforts. And I’m not spoiling her, I’m spoiling me. Research has shown that babies that are worn and held a lot actually have less anxiety and discomfort growing up and adjust more easily to social situations. Don’t even get me started on the person who called it “mean”, let me put her in the germ ridden, uncomfortable, buggy seat and let you hear her screaming and crying from being over-stimulated and see how mean that is instead.
Go ahead and pick on me. Say that she’s too old to be held so much. Tease me about wearing her to her college classes one day. It goes in one ear and out the other. You know why? because today I looked up and she was walking down the hallway towards me.
Growing up happens all too fast and the sweet time of infancy and babyhood is too precious to waste. I won’t be bullied or guilted into missing any of it. I will make mistakes and I will have regrets when my kids are grown but wearing her and reading extra bedtime stories and having tickle fights and dressing up in costumes for no reason, and enjoying every bit of every facet of their youth will not be one of them.
So while my heart both breaks a little and soars with pride for my little walker, I will continue to wear her for as long as it makes us happy. She is worth every single second and I adore her.
Happy walking, Laelynn Mary! Mommy is SO proud of you <3
