4Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
In a perfect world, love never faces problems, couples never fight, siblings are never rivals, people are never treated unfairly, and everybody wins because everybody is “the good guy”. It really is a wonderful place. Unfortunately, I don’t live there and I kinda doubt you do either. In fact, if you do live there, you need to pinch yourself because you are late for work and still have that last 10lbs to lose…wake up!!
In my world, I have arguments with people I love and my husband geocaches. Would you like to know the definition of ‘long suffering’? marry a geochacher (TOTALLY kidding babe…kinda 😛 ). But in all seriousness, “love suffereth long” is not an easy task to understand until you face the choice of continuing to love someone who has hurt you or walking away or getting even. In my opinion, this is a reason why so many people “fall out of love” and end their marriages. Suffering long means that when your spouse or loved one hurts you or drives you crazy or treats you poorly that you will choose to suffer and continue loving them.
My pastor told me once that love is a choice and at the time I wasn’t really sure I agreed with him but it is a completely true statement. When Michael wakes up with morning breath after snoring all night and kicking me in his sleep, I don’t really feel like I love him. I feel like being grumpy and telling him to pack his own lunch while I make up for the lack of sleep and good riddance as you hit the door. Would this be humanly understandable? yes. Is it biblically right? nope, not even close. It doesn’t matter what he does, he never deserves retaliation. That is not my place.
So what would love allow me to do in that situation? “…and is kind”
I must get up and kiss his (smelly) mouth and find shoes (for the feet that kicked me out of my good dream) and pack his lunch for him even though my sleepy eyes are having trouble telling the turkey from the cheese. Of course this was a hypothetical story and we can all have a giggle at it but you get the point. Love only reciprocates kindness even when it is suffering. No fine print or loop hole, that’s just the way it is.
“charity envieth not”
This one is pretty simple. Don’t be envious. Sounds easy enough right? Have you ever been jealous of your love one’s opportunity to enjoy something because you didn’t have the same chance? If you don’t have any plans with the girls, then he shouldn’t be going out with the guys right? Nope, wrong again. If you love him the way that God says you should, you should already be of the opinion that any thing that you can give him, do for him, or allow him to do that makes him happy should be offered without any expectations.
“charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up”
Pride is a 5 letter word that every person who has ever lived will battle. If you think you have no pride, you are probably proud of it! This factors into love by being proud of how loving you are towards your mate. The down fall of thinking highly of how well you love-on another person is that you begin to pat yourself on the back and expect them to feel undeserving and return your acts of love ten-fold. Selfish, huh? Thinking more of yourself than the other person will always break down the relationship and cause problems
To sum it up:
If you are suffering, hang in there and be kind.
If you are jealous, step back and consider their feelings first.
And if you are proud of yourself, you’ve still got work to do.
Personally, I have TONS of work to do…please pardon my dust, I’m a wife under construction!
