Lessons from Maw

Lately I have been thinking about the tough parts of growing up. When you are young, it’s not that you see something tragic on TV and think to yourself, “that will never happen to me” because you don’t. The thought never even gets that far into your brain. Bad things happen to names that we don’t know on TV or to names that we hear about through prayer lists. It never even hits our hearts that these names represent people who have families and friends who are mourning for their trials. But they are real people. Good people, people who are Christians, people who are lost…no one is immune.

But then one day you begin to add up all the things that have/are happening in your life and in the lives of those you love and you realize, you have become one of those names. Your friend has dealt with sickness, you have known someone who has taken their own life, you have know a family that has been broken by divorce or tragedy. You have been in the waiting room praying for the life that hangs in the balance, one of your friends is struggling with serious personal issues, a loved one has lost a child. Even in your own life something has happened to add your own name to the list.

It’s all very depressing if you think about it and for me it breeds fear in my heart. If no one is immune to these horrible, unspeakable things, then anything could happen.

But one day I was visiting with my grandmother who we call Maw and she said something that absolutely shamed me. We had taken our dog, Chloe, with us to see her because Maw has a special place in her heart for little animals. She mentioned that she would love to have one but that she was afraid of it getting under her feet and making her fall. So I suggested that we could go to a shelter and find an older, gentler dog for her and that it could keep her company and help her feel safe.

This was her response: “Oh honey, I’m not afraid to be alone. I have the Lord with me. It doesn’t bother me to be here by myself.”

Wow. As a lady who has lived a great deal longer than I and has an even deeper understanding of the scary possibilities of life through personal experience, she was completely unafraid. Good grief, I hear a thump from the apartment above us and assume that I am about to be killed just about every day! What a total lack of faith on my part. It’s a good thing that our God is long suffering or I wouldn’t have a chance. He knows everything that is going to happen and already has it working together for my good but here I go again, worrying about everything in general.

It’s easy for me to trust Him with my life but I find it hard to trust when it’s the life of someone I love. Shame on me for ever daring to think that my solution is better and that whatever calamity that I am facing has been a mistake in His will. My prayer today is to never forget what my Maw said and to grow into a more mature faith like she has.

“Many things about tomorrow, I can’t seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow, and I know Who holds my hand.”